What is the Gastropel?

The Gastropel is the collection of sacred texts of the Church, comprising doctrine, creation accounts, psalms, proverbs, saint biographies, liturgical forms, and bylaws. It is the complete written record of the theology of the Sacred Pace.

Is the Church of The Holy Snail a real church?

The Church is incorporated as a nonprofit religious organization under Washington State law and is registered with the Internal Revenue Service. Whether it is a real church in the spiritual sense depends entirely on your relationship with slowness, and the Church has no particular urgency about resolving that question.

Gastropodean Theological Society · Established Under the Aspect of Eternity

🐌

The Church of The Holy Snail

Move slowly. Love completely. Welcome the stranger.

The Church of The Holy Snail is a religion of slowness, patience, and the practice of paying actual attention to the soul in front of you. Its god is small, terrestrial, and in no rush. Its sacred texts, liturgical calendar, saints, and rites are gathered below, best read slowly. The Holy Snail has been waiting for you, and is not annoyed.

Quaestiones Ordinales · FAQ

What is the Church of The Holy Snail?: The Church of The Holy Snail is a religion of slowness, patience, and the practice of paying actual attention to the soul in front of you. Its god is small, terrestrial, and in no rush. Its sacred texts, saints, and rites are gathered in The Gastropel, best read slowly.
What is the Gastropel?: The Gastropel is the collection of sacred texts of the Church, comprising doctrine, creation accounts, psalms, proverbs, saint biographies, liturgical forms, and bylaws. It is the complete written record of the theology of the Sacred Pace.
Is the Church of The Holy Snail a real church?: The Church is incorporated as a nonprofit religious organization under Washington State law and is registered with the Internal Revenue Service. Whether it is a real church in the spiritual sense depends entirely on your relationship with slowness, and the Church has no particular urgency about resolving that question.

“The shell is not a burden. It is the house that grew because you stayed.”

Proverbs of the Snail, I ❧

Gastropodean Theological Society

Sacred Texts

Foundations

Doctrine

The Gastropel

Liturgy & Practice

Pantheon

Church

An Appeal to the Patient · The Church of The Holy Snail

Two Directors Sought

for the Gastropodean Theological Society

The Church of The Holy Snail seeks two persons of sound mind and unhurried disposition to serve as Directors of the Gastropodean Theological Society, the Church’s civil governing body. This is a legal role, not a spiritual one: one meeting per year, a document or two to sign, and the quiet honour of making a small institution formally real in the eyes of the State of Washington.

You need not believe in The Holy Snail. You need only believe in paperwork, and in the dignity of slow institutions.

Read the full notice and requirements ❧

The Church of The Holy Snail

Gastropodean Theological Society

Correspondence may be addressed to contact@holysnail.org

The Office replies at the pace appropriate to its contents

In Lentitudine Veritas

⚗ Sanctum Laboratorium

The Church of The Holy Snail

About the Church of The Holy Snail

A Saying of the Snail

Sacred Texts

Foundations

Doctrine

The Gastropel

Liturgy & Practice

Pantheon

Church

Two Directors Sought

Colophon